1. "Since I’m diabetic Carla only lets me eat one candy bar every six months, so she was helping me choose which one to go with. First we cut out all candy that sounds remotely racist which includes all dark chocolate and I know this sounds weird but, Jujubes."

    - Chris Turk (Scrubs)

  2. Soccer Girl Problems: Dos

    I made it to the second post! I might finish this series after all. Here’s another favorite SG Prob:

     “I’d dual the death to get my jersey number…is that immoral?”

    I would. I love my number, 87. But for club this season I didn’t get to choose a number, I was assigned 8. Which is not so bad, since it’s kind of part of my jersey number, but I would have preferred a 7 standing next to that 8.

  3. Today Joshua had to show me how to use Instagram. Considering technological advances, If I need help with a camera app now, God help me in 50 years.

  4. The Rocket Summer - You Gotta Believe.

    What can I say? You just gotta believe.

  5. Soccer Girl Problems

    Just started following the tweets of @SoccerGirlProblems. This stuff made me laugh out loud, so I’m putting up (and expounding upon) some of my favorites. I don’t want to call it a series because every time I try to start a series I fail to keep it up. But I’m gonna try. Here’s my first favorite @SoccerGirlProblems tweet:

    “Didn’t get my ears pierced til I was 17…and the only reason I could was because I got injured.”

    I actually got my ears pierced when I was eight? Somewhere around then. After a year or so, I forgot about wearing them and the piercing closed up. So I decided I was going to get them pierced again…four years ago. Let’s just say basketball, tkd, and soccer kinda got in the way, with jewelry restrictions and little of season, I haven’t really found the time. Until now. Yes come the end of this soccer season, I will FINALLY get my ears pierced. I am so proud of myself, for finally taking this step, into this region of women’s fashion.

  6. I found Siri only works properly when I shout with an angry tone. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship.

  7. Cold War Kids - Royal Blue

    Great song. Loving the drums.

  8. I missed Star Wars day. Next year I will be more on top of things. I will say this: No matter what critics, haters, and fans say, I believe, without a doubt, that Jar Jar Binks, was definitely in the Phantom Menace.

    I missed Star Wars day. Next year I will be more on top of things. I will say this: No matter what critics, haters, and fans say, I believe, without a doubt, that Jar Jar Binks, was definitely in the Phantom Menace.

  9. So I went to the AT&T store today with this intricate plan to talk the salesmen into giving me an iPhone 4s for $150 instead of $200…

    It didn’t work.

  10. Mom Yell

    Mom: YOU ALL NEED TO CLEAN UP THE GAME ROOM!
    Ivan: Ok, one sec.
    Me: Why can't mom ever yell something awesome? Like YOU NEED TO EAT ALL THIS ICE CREAM!

  11. City and Colour - The Girl

    I dig this.

  12. "Your boo’s are not scaring me! I know most of you are not ghosts!"

    - Tracy Jordan

  13. "The weather forecast high is 87 and low is 40. Does that really help anyone!?"

    - Chris
  14. supertao: The greatest problem in life.

    supertao:

    The greatest problem in life.

    (Source: crimesagainsthughsmanatees)

  15. Leah: What does that sign say?
    Krista: Wesley Plumbing.
    Anna: It says Weston Parkins.
    Me: No, it says Worley Parsons.
    Leah: Worley?
    Krista: It's Wesley Plumbing. Or Wesley Progress
    Anna: I think its Pilgrims Progress.
    Me: It's Worley Parsons!
    Krista: It's Wesley Plumbing! What abou that sign next to it, what does it say? Caushe?
    Leah: That's a Chase bank sign.
    Anna: I'm pretty sure it's Pilgrims Progress
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I'm Anastasia. And that's about it...
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